I can't do it!

Here is a picture of Sara and Mike’s children, Cameron and Kayla. (I think every Grandparent needs a blog so they can post pictures)

Last night I decided to put together a wooden file cabinet which I’d purchased. The directions said that all I needed was a Phillips head screwdriver. I got my husband’s electric screwdriver and proceeded to strip the screws as I tried to force them into the predrilled holes.

Thankfully I asked for help before I’d done irreparable damage. Thankfully the men in my life are very kind. They did not yell or belittle me but quietly took over and completed the job.

My son Eric said, “The main problem is that you don’t have the right size of screwdriver.” I didn’t even know screwdrivers came in different sizes, the direction didn’t mention this vital piece of information.

My husband Craig hugged me. “This just proves that you need me. I need you, too,” he whispered.

I hugged him back. “Sorry. I was only trying to be self-sufficient.”

As the words of this confession left my mouth, understanding filled my soul. I’ve been trying to be self-sufficient in my Spiritual life. But I can’t do things alone, in fact I can’t do anything in and of myself.

I want to live my life to honor Jesus but I'm just not sure how to do it. So I’ve been trying to figure out the formula. For a long time I thought that I needed more self-discipline, a new schedule, strict obedience—no more excuses. If I would just do what I’m supposed to do, everything would be fine. But those words reminded me of His words, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Nothing, Lord? You mean I can’t even obey you unless I abide in You and You give me the ability? So, I’m brought back to the simple truth that my job is to be loved by the Lord, everyday to be loved and to love Him back—simply abide in His love. All real life flows from that well spring, all obedience, all joy. No room or need for self-sufficiency, just coming each day knowing that I can’t do it on my own and opening up my heart to be filled.