Not the Pinky

“Not the Pinky because it’s the baby,” this was our five-year-old granddaughter’s reply when Granddad asked, “Ethne, which finger should I use to test your blood levels?”
She wanted to protect the baby, even if it is only a baby finger. Less than a week ago we all learned that Ethne has diabetes. I want to protect her; after all she’s still just a baby in some ways, so young, so innocent. I don’t want her to have to prick her finger four times and day and get insulin shots three times a day! Seven pokes every single day for the rest of her life, this Grammy really doesn’t like this news. It reality stinks.
Still, it’s better than many other things. She gets to live, even if her life (and ours) has altered. I don’t usually invited change or challenge, I’m comfortable being comfortable. I like the boat that doesn’t rock and the status quo is really okay with me. If I had my way I’d never change, never mature, never learn about deeper faith.
Good thing I’m not in charge. Someone Wise and Good loves me, and Ethne and He has a perfect plan for the whole world and for every single day of our individual lives. The only way I get better is when things get worse. It’s because I won’t change unless I’m forced to and I refuse to grow on my own. The squeeze of God’s tender hand molds me and fashions me and teaches me to trust Him, even when it’s painful. For me, the hardest test is when those I love hurt. And when it’s my children or grandchildren, my heart feels especially breakable. “Just let it be me, Jesus. Please, let it be me!”
But He is Lord to little Ethne, too. And He will carry her and hold her and be real to her in her challenges and in her joys—and in every single stick of the needle. He seeks out each one of us for that face-to-face and heart-to-heart relationship. And I want, more than anything, more than comfort and ease, more than painless days, I want each of these precious descendants of mine to know the sweetness of God’s faithful parenting.

Merry Christmas From The Camerons 2010

Unaware of the danger, I clung to the inner tube as the rip tide steadily pulled me away from shore. At age eleven, I loved floating up and over the ocean swells and felt so relaxed that I could have stayed there all day. So, when people on the beach motioned for me to come in, I felt confused. I want to swim. Still, I slipped from the inner tube and pulled it along as I kicked, with all my might, toward shore. When my best efforts didn’t seem to take me any closer to land, I released the float and used both arms to fight against the tide. The only result of my struggle was total exhaustion.

After a while, I knew I couldn’t keep swimming and my only t thought was, Get back to the inner tube and hold on. With my last bit of strength I kicked in that direction and reached out to grab the inner tube as it floated away from my grasp. Too weary to go on, I simply stopped trying and sank calmly into the deep arms of the Pacific Ocean. I remember feeling like I was just falling asleep. Unexpectedly, the strong arm of a lifeguard circled my waist and pulled me to the surface where I took the breath of air that saved my life…

This childhood incident comes close to describing our last two years. We have struggled in deep waters as our son-in-law, Robert fought testicular cancer, with our daughter, Aimee, at his side. As parents, our hearts were especially warmed by the way our children and children-in-law responded. Each one readily altered their normal life to offer Robert, Aimee and their little ones the tangible love and support they needed. Many others also did all they could to sustain this faithful, brave pair.
Still, the illness raged and drained Robert’s life until he took his last breath and surrendered into the outstretched arms of Jesus. His home going will remain one of the most sacred times we’ve experienced on this earth, as the Lord drew Robert toward Himself and offered us His peace. So, at age 28, surrounded by his closest friends and most of his family, our Robert p preceded us to heaven.

The lingering impression of these months is that we could not have managed without the power and absolute necessity of prayer as an untold number of believing friends, family, acquaintances, Facebook contacts, Blog followers, Flickr friends and other strangers joined to support all of us in this battle. We literally felt the prayer support and the grace that was extended to us in response. These petitions kept our heads above the deep despair that can drown the living when the young suffer and die. If the weight of this battle could be described as an immense woven sheet smothering us, the prayers of the faithful were a multitude of hands raised up that lifted the heaviness so we could continue to take care of the three little ones, encourage the sick and weary, praise our good and wise God and live each day fully under His marvelous sovereignty.

Now you understand why the Craig Cameron family did not send out its annual letter last year. By God’s grace life goes on and joyfully Christmas comes again with another chance to send our greetings. Currently, Craig is entering his eleventh year with EPOSG and just re-board certified. He’s a very hard worker and thankfully still loves what he does while looking forward to retirement, or at least some sort of change, ‘in the future.” He serves as an elder in our church, leads a weekly home Bible study for men (I cook for them), has a blast flying his plane (sometimes I go along) and even skydives now and then (without me, thank goodness.) Together, we help lead an adult Sunday school class on marriage.

I (Sue) stepped back from many of my activities to offer extra Grammy help to Aimee during the last two years. Recently, when she and the children moved out of our home (yes, they are doing well) life began to settle back into a routine. I’m working on a book, Healing Steps, for survivors of sexual abuse. A group meets with me each month to review the material and give feedback and suggestions. My mom, Rosli, still lives with us and keeps busy with a pet/house sitting business, playing Bridge, attending her Sunday school class and other various activities. She often helps out in the kitchen and we are so thankful for her good health.

We enjoy traveling and spend a lot of time in other places, often visiting our children and grandchildren (all eight are wonderful and growing too fast.) This summer Craig and I took a fabulous cruise to Alaska and in early 2011 we will be going to Kauai for a medical meeting. We just celebrated our 33rd year of marriage and realized we’ve spent a third of that time in this one house (a record for us.) It’s a great house, with lots of space, and we’d love to have you come a stay with us in 2011.

We’re so thankful for each of you, our family and friends, and realize in a new way that you are indeed our greatest gifts. Blessed Christmas and a year filled with
God’s perfect faithfulness! Love, Craig & Sue

Forgiveness Flows Freely

Have you ever felt that your sin was too big for God to forgive? With thoughts like, “there’s no way He can forgive that it’s just too awful”?
Or may be, like me, you’ve felt like you’re always pestering the Lord to forgive a bunch of little things. “Forgive me for wasting time,” “Lord, I’m sorry I got so irritated and short-tempered.”
That’s how I felt this morning when I awoke. Before I climbed out of bed I was already bombarding Jesus with pleas for His forgiveness for innumerable attitudes and actions that formed the fabric of yesterday (and of every day—in varying degrees.)
In the midst of this casual one-way conversation a thought stopped my flow of confession. “I bet the Lord gets tired of all these countless requests for forgiveness. It’s a constant prayer.”
Well, as you know, every thought is also a prayer, at least it is certainly heard and known by the Lord, and what is prayer anyway but talking to Him (and having Him listen) verbally or in our minds and hearts?
So, as He does and as He will, He answered my thought. His reply was something like this: “My blood flowed freely to cover your sin. No one forced me. No one made me. I gave all of my life freely without reserve. I give forgiveness freely. It flows from Me. There is no limit. There are no boundaries. When I give it to you, there isn’t less to give to others. I offer you free and constant forgiveness each time you ask. No sin is frequent, too large or too small.”
Lavish! Like a massive waterfall, His forgiveness flows, rushes, cascades upon our lives and washes away the stains and wounds of our sins. How can we do anything but praise Him with grateful hearts as we splash in the cooling waters of His grace?

I WAITED, NO ONE CAME

Here is a short video of a new 'trick' of our grandson! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655337661




Today was the first day of a six-week discipleship class which I'm leading. I spent time preparing by reading the great material over and over and praying for unity among us and that God would be with us in a special way.
I stayed up extra late (on my birthday) to bake Pumpkin Cream Cheese bars. Got up early to make Herbal Iced Tea. Pack a big napkins, plates and cups. And, at the last minute, before leaving for church, I searched through my office supplies for name tags and a Sharpie. On the way I stopped to buy a bag of ice.
Once there, I carefully arranged the chairs into a small circle, put out the food and brand new books and adjusted the AC. Then, I waited. No one came.
I thought, I have yummy food, a wonderful study and a open heart but no one to share it with me.
“Lord, is this sort of how you feel when you have prepared something good for me and I don't bother to show up? I just leave you standing at the door—knocking.”
It doesn't take much for me to open the door—usually just the effort of rolling out of bed a few minuets early. He promises to come in and share a meal with me, if I'll open the door. But I'm not even aware that I'm hungry. “Show me my hunger, Lord! Expose my need. Let it gnaw at me like hunger pangs and teach me to respond to your pursuing knock. All you want is time with me.
What's required of me is that I open the door. You do all the rest. The preparation. The coming. The knocking. The waiting. And you even bring the meal for us to share. But too often I leave you standing there knocking and don't bother to show up. Forgive me, Jesus when I say that I love you and want you more than all else but then don't act that way.”

Robert Feuille and his photograhs

Dear Friends,
Please see this wonderful article about the opening of a show featuring Robert and his photographs. Aimee did an outstanding job of explaining the stories behind each shot.

I cried because I miss Robert and I am so proud of Aimee.

IN MAY, IN THE DENVER AIRPORT I GOT IN LINE TO BUY A COOKIE. IN FRONT OF ME WERE FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL LINDA AND DEBBIE FOX (maiden name) THEY WERE ALSO WAITING FOR THIER PLANES TO TAKE THEM HOME! What a small world.





A cool morning! Seven AM and not even 70 degrees! People, like me, who live in hot climates take notice of such delightful changes. It's time to decorate!Before I could put up our fall decorations, I had to pull them out--from under the stairway, through our kitchen pantry.

A bunch of stuff had to be moved to get to the boxes marked, 'fall.' Food items, storage containers, ice chests and lots and lots of bags."It's always good to have extra bags on hand, isn't it?" That's what I told myself as I gathered piles of plastic and paper bags that littered the tile floor.

And then I stopped.

There, underneath all of those bags was a green item. I thought I'd lost it. In fact, I had replaced it. My fly swatter! I lifted it and hung it in it's place along side the new white one. It was there all this time. Hidden under the pile of old paper bags. And I thought I'd lost it.

Some times we or people we know are like that. Lost or at least hidden under a bunch of stuff. It might be fear or anger. Maybe when the only thing others can hear is our sarcastic words. Maybe all they see are our judgmental attitudes. But all that is just the stuff that hides our pain, sorrow and hurts. It's not the real us. We're hiding. We're lost. Jesus said He can to seek and find the lost. There is always joy when a person who was lost is found and even if what you discover is as ordinary as a flyswatter, it's good when it's restored to it's rightful place.

I hope you've experience the joy of being found by Jesus. If not, just call out to Him, He will come and find you.

Life View

I have been very blessed with new friends, stopping in to view my ramblings and then leaving a comment. Thank you to all of you.

We spent last weekend in Chicago. We rode the ‘L’ to the airport to catch our flight home. It was packed and I felt grateful to find a vacant seat. Poor Craig had to stand in the isle with our large suitcase for most of the trip.
I sat on the side of the train with seats that faced backward. As went, the young woman in front of me spoke to her mother, who sat next to me. “I don’t like that I can’t see where I’m going.”
Wow, I thought, life is like this. We can only see where we’ve been not where we’re going. And really it’s a blessing not to fully know what a day, or year may bring. And, what a comfort to know the One who is outside of time and to know He loves us and is holding us in His hand.

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Ps. 139:16
Now that is wonderful. First God is writing a book (and I’m in it, so are you, so are the details of every single day of our lives.) All recorded. All known by the one who has been where we are going. “Thank you Lord, for that wonderful, comforting truth.”

Two Important Things to Remember

Em Sings
Originally uploaded by grammysmc

Em learned this song at backyard, VBS. The words are, "Don't read your Bible, forget to pray and you shrink, shrink, shrink. Read your Bible, pray everyday and you grow, grow grow." True and good to remember if we hope to keep growing spiritually. Blessings to all, sue

On the last day of our ten-day vacation to Alaska, Craig and I finally began to talk about our grandchildren who we’d left behind in El Paso.
“Do you think Egan is walking?”
“I wonder if the girls are having fun at summer camp?”
“Sure hope Aimee’s doing okay on her own.”
We got in very late Sunday night and while Aimee had waited up to greet us, all the little ones were sleeping (thankfully.) We were really excited about seeing them in the morning and also happy to be back to our own bed. Even though a cruise offers a continually rocking motion, nothing compares to the comfort of sleeping in our own waterbed. We went right to sleep.
The sound of a door closing woke me at about 3:30 AM. Then a young voice, full of joy said, “Grammy!” Emeline had made her way downstairs and into my arms. I removed my bulky CPAP mask to kiss her. “Hey, Sweetie I missed you.” Craig reached over for a three-way embrace. I positioned an extra pillow between us.
“Is that for me?” Em asked, sounding pleased.
“Yes. Would you like to stay and cuddle a little while and then go up to your own bed?”
“Yes.”
And she did.
I lay awake awhile, feeling so loved by this sweet little girl. Her voice and presence showed me that she had missed me and was glad I was back. The purity of her unconditional love astounded me, and I began to wonder. . . Is this how the Lord feels when I finally come back after being away from Him a long time?
I think every single relationship, where love is expressed without pretense, reflects the love of God. We didn’t come up with the concept of friendship, spousal, or parental (grand-parental) love, He did and He decided to let us in on the delight of it. God is love and so any love we share at with one another starts with Him. He lavishes love upon us and we extend it to others. I am thankful—humbled and thankful—that He is the giver of love and that it pleases Him when His kids love one another.

another memory

Within a week or two of Robert going to heaven, while swimming with the girls, Ethne said, "Grammy, Jesus is here with us right now."
I smiled, "Yes, he is." The truth brought me comfort.
"And," she added, "Daddy is with Jesus. That means daddy is right here with us, too."
"That's true! And wonderful. I've never thought of it that way before. Who told you that?"
With a pure and special light in her eyes she said, " Jesus told me."
She swam off but I stayed montionless overwhelmed by the ways the Lord speaks to his children.

Things to remember

I don't want to be guilty of saying, "I need to write that down,"and then never do it. Today I am sitting in a hospital with my dad and his wife, Alice. Sadly, they discovered the reason that her abdomen was so swollen is because of ovarian cancer. This means they have many decisions to make and it means I have time to post to this blog after months of being absent.
We lost our dear Robert to testicular cancer. We lost him but he found eternal life and now knows all the mysteries of heaven and lives in the presence of our indescribable Lord.
I want to record some of the girl's comments.
Just a few evenings before Robert's passing, he and Aimee talked to the girl's about it. Aimee told me that Ethne began to cry and Emeline imitated her.
After a while, Ethne said, "Mom, can I speak to you in private?"
Aimee said, "Yes," and she and both girls went into the walk-in closet.
Five-year-old Ethne asked her mom, "Do you want to talk to me about my inheritance?"
"Well," Aimee answered, "Daddy is young and so there probably won't be an inheritance."
"Okay."
Then Em piped up, "Mommy, don't you want to talk to me about my... My...my...imagination?"
"Yes I do," Aimee said, "you have a very strong and active imagination."

 

 

 

 

I’ve often wondered why males and burping go together. My brother could proudly burp the entire alphabet and make unusual sounds using his hand and armpit. As our sons grew up they too possessed amazing ability when it came to these type of “musical” expressions.
Today I realized a possible reason,a simple explanation. I had just picked up Egan and began to pat his back when he responded with a large burp. My response? Praise! “Good boy! That was a great burp, Egan.” I smiled at him. He smiled at me. Humm.
So, the next time a male in your life displays such vocal ability and you secretly wonder why—remember that since his earliest days he has been praised by the women who love him for accomplishing such feats. And smile at him. Bet he’ll smile back.

Craig and I took the girls to an indoor swimming birthday party. It was a lot of fun.

Have you ever felt embarrassed to return to something after being gone for a long time? Like calling a friend after missing her birthday or going back to a weekly Bible Study after months of neglect? Well, if you have, you can relate to how I feel about coming back here after being away for such a long time. But, it is still my little corner after all, and even if the cobwebs need to be swept and the dust blown away, I am returning to this safe place.
Robert, Aimee and the three little ones moved back in with us a few weeks before Christmas. Each day I observe or experience situations that teach me something about our Heavenly Father.
Yesterday, Ethne said, “I can’t find any Washable Markers anywhere.”
“Did you look in the place where we keep them? In the laundry room, under the sink, in that box?”
“No.”
“Go see.” I followed her as she opened the box to retrieve a marker.
I felt pretty proud of myself for knowing where those markers were because I have been spending a large chunk of my life finding places for all the extra stuff five additional people (and Christmas) bring into a house. And while organizing isn’t intuitive for me I’ve been intent on arranging it all into manageable sizes and determined to remember where I put everything.
So, Ethne went off with the marker and I squatted down to replace the box when I noticed that every single marker one was topless. It’s certainly was not as obscene as it sounds but for me it was pretty shocking. All the pens I’d carefully capped, sorted and arranged where left to dry out. I dumped the box and muttered silently. Why don’t they keep things in order after I’ve gone to all the trouble to sort it all out? All I do is pick up. I’m getting tired of always cleaning up their messes.
That’s when I knew the truth. For fifty-three years, God has been cleaning up my messes. Maybe I’ve improved in some small ways, but over all, it’s the same attitudes, choices, and struggles, over and over and over again. It’s easy for me to make messes and most the time it’s not on purpose and I’m unaware of what I’m doing. And He—He deals with it, because it’s my mess and I’m His. He’s my Father and what involves me concerns Him. He doesn’t ever get tired of having to take care of me and my stuff. I’m very thankful for this and will try to serve my loved ones the way He serves me.