Someone who loves me.

(Ethne sharing her new bracelets with me, but they are too tight for Grammy)

I feel like a tight knob has been loosened, something discarded has been recovered; a big black mark has been erased. It might seem a bit melodramatic to you but not to me. You see, I awoke this morning wondering where I put the gift cards we’d received for Christmas. I tried to remember and all I could come up with was that I had thought about moving them to the counter, away from all the used wrapping paper, ribbons and trash bags. But when I looked, they were not there.

I searched in a lot of places. I strained to remember. I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out where they were and finally determined that I must have thrown them out in today’s trash! Then I began dwelling on how careless I’d been, how stupid. I fretted and fumed and felt like a big jerk. As soon as I thought one of these negative thoughts another one waited for me and rushed in with more force and venom than the first. Ugh. Even though our Christmas day had been marvelous and blessed from beginning to end, I had managed to blunder and ruin an otherwise perfect memory.

I battled these accusations—while admitting my fault; I assured myself that things could be much worse. One of my loved ones could be sick. I shouldn’t waste anymore time stewing over what I could not change. I reasoned that in all of eternity this was a small mishap, an accident, a mistake. Besides, the gifts cards simply represented stuff and we have a ton of stuff and stuff is going to pass away. Thankfully, these thoughts prevailed at last, and while I still felt foolish and careless I forgave myself for my mistake and went on enjoying my day.

When Craig came home I blurted out my error, “I accidentally threw away our gift cards.”

“No you didn’t,” he said. “I found them on the counter and put them up here with our other ones. I didn’t want them to be thrown out.”

“All of them?” I grabbed the cards and sure enough, they were all there. I jumped up and down making happy noises and gave Craig a great big smooch.

It’s wonderful to be given a second chance, to have a mistake erased, to be rescued. I love the way I felt when I discovered that I really wasn’t stupid and careless, and that someone who love me was looking out for me.

One day, I’m sure; we will know this in much deeper and wider ways when we see Jesus with His eyes full of acceptance. He will not bring up all our faults, in fact He won’t remember them at all. He’ll simply hand us the key to the mansion He’s prepared for us and welcome us home. And when He does I’ll jump up and down and sing praises forever, because Someone who loves me was always watching out for me.