Water in the dry place

(This picture is of the young woman who plays Mary in the Nativity Story. It is an outstanding movie which my husband and I really enjoyed. Also see comments by my friend Jim Watkins of his blog. )

Recently a friend shared about the pain of infertility. While I’ve never faced this struggle I know what it is to feel barren. Lifeless. Unfruitful. Dried up. Washed out. Nothing to offer. Nothing to give.

I started life as a premature infant, weighing about 2 ½ pounds. Things change. I grew. I gained weight, quite a bit, but that’s another topic. After such a fragile beginning, I am truly grateful to have reached my 50^th birthday. However, I discovered that celebrating my birthday in a big way (see earlier posts about my birthday cruise), didn’t erase or even ease the process of feeling older.

I’ve learned thoughts come before feelings so I started to analyze what kind of thoughts were making me feel barren. It took a while to identify the subtle whispers of, “Am I past my prime?” “I’m not young and strong anymore, how can I be effective?” “Who wants to listen to an old lady?” “Did I miss my opportunities to make an impact?” “Are my best years gone?” “Am I of any more use?”

Maybe you’re rolling your eyes because this all sounds very melodramatic, but maybe you’re not near menopause. My hormones feel thin at times, and so does my sleep. I am feeling the aging process and while I prefer it to the alternative I’m still not sure I like it much.

So, I’ve been feeling barren. Spiritually dry. Hard, cracked soil where my joy used to be. But the ladies at Bible study asked me to give a short reflection for our Christmas party. Actually, they informed me that I’d been assigned and said “That’s what you get for missing the planning meeting.” Hey, I was in India—but no matter, I decided to make preparations. But I was not prepared for God to meet me.

I’m glad He did. Right there in the familiar Christmas story which I’ve read or heard more than any other passage of Scripture. “Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.” I added the emphasis because that is how it seemed when I read it.

“She who was said to be barren. . .” In and of herself Elizabeth was barren. Same with Mary, in and of herself she could have no child. All appearances pointed to the fact that these ladies were not in a position to be fruitful. But all the while God was at work. Silently, steadily, He loving brought each of these women to a place where they could offer nothing; add nothing to His wonderful plans. Nothing except, “I am the Lord’s servant.”

So all along, even when Elizabeth felt barren, God was working. While others shook their heads at her in pity because she was a barren woman, God was aware. When she despaired because the Lord did not answer her prayers for a child, He was there. He was preparing to bring forth His beautiful plan. He had not cast Elizabeth aside because she was old, through menopause and past her prime—not at all. She was chosen. She was honored. The most joyful years of her life lay ahead for her. Her feelings didn’t stop the Almighty! And this Word He spoke to me caused a wellspring of hope to burst on the dry places of my heart bringing me comfort, giving me joy. For, nothing is impossible with God.